Who do you trust?

March 16, 2008

For months now, Marvel has sown the seeds of deceit and paranoia about Skrulls, particularly the ones posing as humans, mutants or heroes. And for months, Marvel dropped hints to obviously mislead the general public as to who really is a Skrull. But here at Comicology, we are wise to their trickery! We shall not fall for their falsehood, as they sit on their thrones of lies!!!

 

 

 

There are a lot of powerful people in the Marvel Universe, and a lot of them could potentially be Skrulls. If by reading this, you think I’m wrong, then you, sir, are probably a fucking Skrull. Because that’s how Skrulls think. But if it’s not you, then who? Who’s left to protect us from the imminent invasion? Who do you trust? 

 

*Cue dramatic music and DUN DUN DUN sound effects*

In Secret Invastions: Official Predcitions, we’ll tell you who we think is THE Skrull. And we’ll give you good arguments and events for why we think the way we do. This isn’t just common mudslinging because we hate a certain character here; we did our research like the good, smelly, lonely, socially awkward nerds we are.

 

Ever since Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, was given Elektra’s dead Skrully body, he fears for the worst. He thinks that a war is coming, and it’s not a matter of if it will happen, it’s a matter of when. He knows he can trust no one. But you know what’s real crazy? Comicology trusts him. We know Iron Man is no Skrull. How do we know? Because he was manipulated, and that’s why he’s been acting all Skrully. Also, Bendis said so in some interview I read a few months back.

 

 

 

So, if it’s not him, then who else could be up for the running? Hank Pym, that’s who. Yeah, the same guy who made Clor. Though yes, Tony and Reed did help, but it was Pym’s technology that got Clor up and running. What dickery can be dickier than the dickery of cloning a freakin’ god?!

 

 

 

We actually do think he’s a Skrull, but there’s nothing to prove it yet. And there’s the argument of him helping the Mighty Avengers overcome Ultron when he could’ve just said “I can’t do shit, guys. You’re on your own.” But the counter-argument to that would be that he just wanted to keep his cover and he refuses for his victory to be stolen from him and his Skrully race.

 

But there is a certain person, one who has been in the position to cause lots of trouble and trauma from within, and we think this person is our Skrull. Maria Hill.

 

 

 

Why do we think so? Well, who was Maria Hill before Fury left SHIELD? A nobody. No one has even heard of her? Who put her there? The president himself, who Comicology sees as a Skrull, too. Why? Because she’s not a “fury loytalist.” What a crock of shit!

 

She’s been showing a lot of apprehension and resentment against the Avengers from the start. She even kidnapped (okay, arrested) Spider-Man and had the SHIELD psychics tear information about M-Day from his brain! Is that not Skrully enough for you?!

 

Even before the registration act was passed, she ordered Captain America to hunt down those who he thinks will likely oppose the bill. Cap declined and what did she do? She asked the Cape Killers to fucking shoot Captain America. Maria Hill had Captain America SHOT! Definitely Skrully, wouldn’t you say? Fortunately, this led to one of the coolest Cap moments in recent memory:

 

 

 

After the Civil War, she gives her position to the man who won the Civil War, thus giving more power to the man responsible for ripping the superhuman community in two. Skrully? Definitely.

 

If the evidence we presented isn’t good enough for you, then check this out. We’ve hard (well, semi-hard) evidence of her Skrullitude. Remember last week when we posted the Secret Invasion Trailer? Our good friends over at cinemabuzz found some interesting screens and they were kind enough to give us shots.

 

 

 

 

It’s pretty hard to see from here, but if you can squint your eyes enough, you’ll see that it says:

 “I’ll be in contact.

-Nick”

Nick frickin’ Fury, baby. The same guy from Maria Hill took her previous position. See, Nick Fury knows everything. He’s omniscient. If it went down two minutes ago, Nick knew about it two and a half minutes ago. If it’s going down, Nick’s already doing something about it. If it’s about to go down, Nick’s already made preparations. And besides, since this is supposed to be Nick Fury’s big return, who do you think he’ll be after?

 

*Cue dramatic music and DUN DUN DUN sound effects*