Comic Book Reviews and Cover of the Week!

The past couple weeks’ comics had its share of disappointments, more so than usual. Although, there were some titles that really just blew me away. This is how it goes in this universe anyway, can’t always have our cake and eat it.

The reason why I don’t review more titles is that I’m broke. I seriously need monies. I.ph? Monies, please?

This week’s rating system will be the Spider-Man Action Figure from the box set. All five undarkened Spider-Men is a perfect score. The less of Spidey we see, the worse the comic is.

Amazing Spider-Man # 558

Written by Bob Gale/ Art by Barry Kitson

Oh god, that really sucked. What is Marvel thinking, keeping Bob Gale on the Spidey Braintrust? I’m sure he’s done some good stuff in the past, because otherwise, he wouldn’t even be the official bootlicker to Joe Quesada. But then again, he may be, and this is why he gets to write for Spidey. Poorly.

The plot was straightforward, linear, simple, plain, and other words that describe all things mundane and uninteresting. It did very litte, almost nothing, to advance the story, only to temporarily close the doors on that extremely unimaginative villian, Freak, and to vaguely open a new direction that Oscorp may take.

Yes, we did get to see Aunt May alive. Yeah, but no one really cares since, apparently, Peter’s even moving out now. So, really, what THE FUCK is the point of OMD?! We got Jackpot on the cover, but none of her in the pages in between. There’s still that story that hangs over our heads.

The dialogue was incredibly simplistic and cheesy, like it was written for five year olds. I couldn’t stand the internalizations, it made all the characters one-dimensional. The wit was dry and the humor was lame. Seriously, Bob Gale, shouldn’t you be writing an episode of Clifford, The Giant Red Dog or something like that? Oh, plus the narration- "HEY KIDDIES! LET’S SEE WHAT OUR BUDDY SPIDEY GETS INTO THIS TIME! SOMEONE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! PLEASE!"

There is something to be said about the art, though. Very clean, very crisp and the expressions looked very natural. However, the entire issue still is a big clusterfuck of cliché after cliché.

One Spider-Man action figure out of five! FAIL!

Amazing Spider-Man # 559

Written by Dan Slott/ Art by Marcos Martin

We get Spidey back on the awesome-track with Dan Slott, the guy who could singlehandedly make Spidey awesome again if he had enough time.

The story is fun, engaging and exciting. The pacing is also great, as it moves from one scene to the next, making it a fun read. Plus, a lot of things happen in this issue, and of course, one thing eventually leads to another, which is great, I think. You’ll be treated to event after event in Spidey’s and Parker’s life, and you will be thoroughly entertained. And by the end of the issue, you’ll be intruiged and you’ll be begging for more.

Dialogue is so much better than 558. Actually, wait, scratch that. ASM 559 shouldn’t even be compared to 558. It’s like comparing a chocolate chip cookie to rancid day-old cat turd.

Characters were rich with personality, even those who just showed up for a few pages, and would prove to not be the focus of the entire issue. Humor and wit were top notch, with the numerous of pop culture references and quips that Spidey should be saying.

Art flowed fantastically. It really moved when it had to, and expressed emotion when it had to. It’s a little bit too cartoony for me, though.

Again, to tell a story like this, do we really need OMD? No. Fuck no! We didn’t even see Aunt May in this issue? How come the best issues of post-BND were lacking Aunt May? Oh that’s right, it’s because she’s frail and old and she should’ve died years ago if she isn’t going to take an active role like she did when Pete was still in the Avengers, which they retconned, too.WITH MAGIC!

Even though it’s a bi-product of OMD, it was still an entertaining issue, so 4 and a half Spideys over 5!

Avengers/Invaders # 1 of 12

Plot by Alex Ross and Jim Krueger/ Script by Jim Krueger/ Art by Steve Sadowski

Having a book that has the Avengers on the cover and the title should probably have the Avengers in the book, right? Yeah, maybe we ALL thought wrong. At least, they decided to show the Invaders.

It’s kinda known that this arc isn’t exactly going to be canon. For one thing, it takes place right after CW, post-OMD, when the Thunderbolts were still trying to track Spidey down and take him in. It’s kind of hard for me to be excited about an entire arc that will have very little or no lasting consequences to any of the characters within the whole run, let alone a single issue, which really didn’t do much more than introduce the Invaders, bring them to Manhattan (through a time travelling device, apparently, that can send people to a different continent for no apparent reason) and set up a few characters that may or may not be important.

The characterization was really off here. Cap seemed like he wasn’t a strategist. He was all "KILL THE DAMN NAZIS!" and wasn’t using the tactical brain we all love. Penance went "I’m sorry" to a certain someone who is not Cap who says "You have no idea who you’re dealing with!" after ripping the former’s armor off. I mean, really, Penance cowers and goes "I’m sorry?!" This, from the guy who suffered through beatings and humiliation during his incarceration. REALLY?! FUCKING REALLY!?

I like the art, though. It’s gritty and very detailed. The faces all have some impact, and they’ convey emotion very well. The costumes look fantastic, too.

Sorry, Avengers/Invaders, for all your hype, I think it’s a two and a half Spidey for you, out of five. SEMI FAIL!

The Mighty Avengers # 13

Written by Brian Michael Bendis/ Art by Alex Maleev

Okay, first off, Bendis and Maleev is a combination comparable to apples imported from China- it seems to never go bad. And one more thing- Nick Fury. Are you kidding me? NICK FURY! I find that Bendis can write Fury almost as well as he writes Daredevil, and that’s saying something.

The plot in this issue is simple, and it’s a very branched out continuation of the last issue. I wouldn’t call this an unimportant issue, but not much happens. One something happens, and that one something is so huge, it had to be told in one entire issue. Nicky boy has a plan and he is executing it.

I love how this issue ties in with a lot of things from the past, even to the very first issue of Mighty Avengers. If you’ve checked it out, you’ll know why.

It sets up for a lot in the coming issues of Mighty Avengers as it ties in with Secret Invasion, while the real MIghty Avengers are together with the New Avengers in Secret Invasion.

I feel that it is unnecesary for me to comment on the art, because Alex Maleev, simply put, is one my favorite artists. The only thing I want to complain about is that one of the characters here looks identical to Matt Murdock’s wife- Milla Donovan.

It deserves four out of five Spideys. If some action happened in this issue, I may have given it a five.

Invincible Iron Man #1

Written by Matt Fraction/ Art by Salvador Larroca

Matt Fraction deserves a shrine. I’m not kidding. The man deserves a fucken’ shrine devoted to his awesomeness. Yes, he is that awesome.

He has a way of weaving a story to life, and not just simply telling it. Goddamn, I want to hug him just to feel his radiant brilliance flow through his sweat glands and pour into mine.

The story is just only beginning, but it’s already picking up, and for a first issue, it’s a real slobberknocker.  The way it was told was fantastic, having Tony’s internal monologue plays out like a really good movie. With his words and the art, it feels like the issue is animated. You will be thrilled, entertained and mystified.

I seriously feel that Matt knows these characters intimately. Like, sleep-with-them-on-a-nightly-basis-intimate. Tony has a strong sense of self-importance and doubt, while being sarcastic and arrogant in a charming and commanding way- textbook Tony Stark, I’d say.

Larroca’s art blows my frickin’ mind. I had to pick up my own jaw from the floor after Larroca’s art knocked it clean off MY FACE! It’s very realistic, but it has a sense of techno-awesomeness and fantasy that fits an Iron Man title extremely well. Faces kinda get inconsistent though. Tony looked like a Mexican comedian in some panels, and Pepper Potts looks like a clone of Nicole Kidman in one panel.

Another gripe I have with it isn’t such a big deal. Tony’s back to the moustache, here. I really like him with the ’stach-goatee combo. The facial hair makes him look cooler and younger, while still giving him the sense of experience and a proper age.

Five out of five Spideys! Good enough to get all four covers for it? Definitely.

Secret Invasion #2

Written by Brian Michael Bendis/ Art by Leinil Francis Yu

Secret Invasion, the biggest 2008 event, continues! And it’s gonna have to do better than it did with this issue if it’s gonna be EPIC, more than another 60’s alien assimilation flick rip-off.

I’m not saying that this is a bad issue; it’s just a tad disappointing because it could’ve been more than just a whole knucklefest. But then again, when the tension between two groups of super powered beings gets so thick that you can’t breathe, the only logical thing to happen is a brawl. A SUPER BRAWL!

I’ve noticed how whenever Bendis has a hard-on for a particular character, he builds that person up to a point that he/she actually becomes more than what he/she is, and closer to what he/she could/should be. Case in point is Spider-Woman, but in this issue, it’s Ares and Clint Barton.

This issue held a really awesome moment that I’ve been waiting for. I don’t wanna spoil anyone, but trust me, if you’re a fan of this character, you’ll grin and squee just like I did.

The story progressed very slowly in the issue, and only picked up in the last few issues, but what happens at the end is something I’d definitely buy Secret Invasion #3 for.

Yu’s art is so much cleaner in this series than in any of his other work. I have to say that his dirty style and the inking really work well together and it creates some weird balance that is just brilliant to see.

All in all, I’d say this felt like a filler issue with a nice reveal at the end, but it’s building up fairly well.

Three Spideys out of five! Here’s to hoping for a better Secret Invasion #3!

The cover of the week is:

X: Men Origin: Colossus One Shot by Trevor Hairsine

Because I have a mad-on for Colossus and I just bought his action figure and I spent a good amount of money on it.