Wonder Woman DVD Review!

April 9, 2009

Wondah Womaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Released last March 3, 2009, Wonder Woman is the latest of the animated direct-to-DVD movies from DC, and the first for a solo Wonder Woman adventure. The hype for it was minimal so not a lot of people were aware that it was even coming out. It was more like a whisper, too, when it came out, instead of a mad dash to the counters when Hulk VS did. So how did it do? Let’s find out.

 

Directed by Lauren Montgomery, Wonder Woman is an exercise in action of mythological proportions, feminism, humor and minimal clothing. I wanted this to be so good; I tried so hard to like it.

Wonder Woman Mythos

The story focuses on Wonder Woman’s origins and her first foray into man’s world. In the DVD, her being a heroine came more out of a need to explore and a longing to be free, ala Disney’s Little Mermaid, only a lot bloodier and slightly sexier. It’s pretty straightforward, really. Diana journeys from Themyscira on a mission to return a pilot who just happened to crash into their secret city and must chase the God of War. Yeah, it gets clearer when you watch it.

Wonder Woman has always had a really weird, really disjointed origin story because there were so many of them, it’s hard to keep track of which one they consider canon. However, the one characteristic that stands out for Wonder Woman these days is that she’s a fierce Amazon warrior. In the DVD, she’s more like a really good fighter who just so happened to be curious about life outside their gates.

So, basically, the whole thing pretty much begins and ends with Ares, The God of War- a common villian in Wonder Woman-centric episodes of Justice League and the movie. Nothing new there, really. Feh.

They also explained the costume. Am I the only one who thinks her costume is fucking ridiculous? I mean, come on! Doesn’t feminism primarily stand for not seeing women as objects for sex? So what does DC do? They put out a heroine whose tits are practically falling out and peddle it to the boys by giving her a kick ass attitude. Okay, yeah, I’m probably missing the point here. But still, the DVD didn’t help explaining it.

“We’re females and we are proud to be! You’re going to the United States; here, dress like a whore in their country colors and symbols. You look non-sexual, Diana. Oh, the dude you’re with might hit on you because what you’re wearing may or may not be appropriate because you’re honoring them by wearing the colors- only, you look like an expensive slut.”

Also, how could Steve find the Invisible Jet? Oh yeah, the Invisible Jet makes an appearance. It doesn’t explain how it came to existence or why it was there, it just is and you’re supposed to accept that. Okay.

In Picture: Invisible Jet

Sub Wonder Woman Mythos

The story had a couple side stories going on, and truth be told, I enjoyed the story of Alexa and her sister, Artemis. Coincidentally, besides Steve the Pilot, my favorite character of the entire story is Alexa. All Amazons are warriors, even if some of them are scholars are heart.

 

Very DC Animation

DC has this style to all of its animated projects. This one is no different, only a little bit less cartoony and a lot more fluid. And a lot less men have jaws like shoe boxes.

Feminists are angry at EVERYTHING!

The action is what sells this for me. Well, that and the humor but more on that later. Unfortunately, Hulk VS spoiled me so the action here is kind of lack luster, especially if you’ve just seen the aforementioned Marvel DVD. However, it still does not disappoint. Sure, it’s not as gory as Hulk VS Wolverine or as EPIC as Hulk VS Thor, but it kicked major ass in its own right.

In picture: Your masculinity about to be revoked

Dozens of super hot super model-looking Amazons in skimpy clothing and armor, swining pikes, swords, axes, daggers, fists and nut cracking kicks. There are a total of TWO nut cracking kicks in the entire thing. One is good enough, but TWO… man, crazy. There are lopped heads, stabbity goodness, lightning bolts, monsters and Amazon zombies. Yes, motherfucker, you heard me- AMAZON ZOMBIES.

Voice Acting

This is what disappointed me the most. Alfred Molina (Yes, Doc Ock) couldn’t voice Ares well enough for me to stop thinking “Man, that guy’s got a snooty voice. I want Kratos to voice this guy. Also, a sandwich.”

The lead, the voice of Wonder Woman, voiced by Kerri Russel, sounded really dull, really dead, very stoic. It wasn’t powerful enough to be Wonder Woman and not feminine enough to balance it out. I dunno, it just felt really off to me. She could voice a great Barbie’s babysitter though.

The supporting characters, however, did a fantastic job. The best voice acting is from Steve, the pilot- Nathan Fillion. He really brought the character to life. Rosario Dawson did Artemis and hers was the second best voice in the entire thing.

Judgement!

Two and a half scantily clad Wonder Women out of five! Rent it. Watch it. Then forget about it ten minutes later.