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Normal Human Wave

August 21, 2009

Where would Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne without their Jarvis or Alfred? Where would Matt Murdock be without his business partner and best friend Foggy? Where would Peter Parker be without the fan favorite Mary Jane Watson? Oh, in the abyss that he’s in right fucken’ now. See what happens when we get rid of the normal people in our favorite characters life against whom they contrast?

I say, we don’t give these people enough love. Sure, we’ve got a couple Alfred Pennyworth fans, but is that enough to show our appreciation for the constant in Batman’s life? Nay, I say! NAY! I think these characters, and their fans, deserve more.

For far too long, these characters have been ignored, especially by the toy collecting community. I hereby declare that it is time they get Marvel Legend/ DC Universe treatment! This is what fans (well, probably just me) want, Hasbro and Matel; make it happen.

Peter Parker’s first real love will always be Gwen Stacy, as was Karen Page to Matt Murdock. I like how they’re two of the very few characters who truly stay dead. They mean more dead than they did alive, and their effects on their respective partners become everlasting throughout Spidey/ DD-verse. Also, I would like to acknowledge that “Sins Past” was not actually written nor published.

If anyone deserves action figure treatment, it’d be them. Give her the Kitty Pride body, maybe? And a brand new headsculpt and you’ve got yourselves a winner. She doesn’t even need to be all that articulated.

Of course, if Gwen gets ML-ified, so should Peter’s lost love (due to bad retcon), Mary Jane Watson. She’s a strong woman living in a spandex-clad man’s world, but she still holds her own. Probably the most interesting part of the OMD retcon, she still plays a very special part in the Spidey-verse and holds the heart of every Spidey fan out there.

She’s a lot sexier, so maybe she could get the new Elektra body, with a brand new headsculpt? Actually, wait, no. Give her a brand new sculpt. Again, articulation need not be emphasized.

As far as girls go, no one’s really backing up a stronger man than Lois Lane, yeah? Lois Lane- the only person who can bring down one of the most iconic, most omnipotent babyface characters in all of comic books to his knees. She is far more pivotal to the role of Superman than anyone else except Ma and Pa Kent, as far as I can tell.

The Matel DC Universe figures have great sculpts and amazing detail. If Lois Lane does, in fact, get a toy, I have no doubt in my mind that it would be one of the best female toy bodies around.

When it comes to support characters, however, no one provides better support than Edwin Jarvis and Alfred Pennyworth. These two guys are more than just butlers, really. They’re the pillar that keeps two of the smartest and most powerful characters in all of comicdom from crumbling under the weight of their massive empires. If not for Alfredy Pennyworth, Bruce would be a directionless orphan with too much money, skills and intelligence. If not for Edwin Jarvis, the Avengers wouldn’t have a Skrull in their midst.

Jarvis is a bit heavier than Alfred, but they should share a number of similar sculpts- the vest, the pants, etc. Of course, Hasbro and Matel aren’t about to exchange molds, but hey, still a cool idea. You can have your Bat family with Alfred and you can build an Iron Man armory with Tony Stark and Jarvis.

Sometimes, though, instead of having a butler as a closest ally, a partner is usually the next best thing. Foggy Nelson, because of Matt Murdock’s alter ego, Daredevil, is in constant danger and has been at the business end of a katana many times. Even though Foggy’s probably got it the roughest in the DD-verse, and that’s saying a lot since Matt’s life is one big shit hole, he still stays true to his best friend. Well, until recently when he’s had enough. Good for you, man.

Dude’s a little round so he can share the same body as Jarvis with a little paint differences and a new head sculpt.

Okay, my reason for including Foggy may be a little selfish as I have a DD family shelf with Iron Fist, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Elektra, Black Widow, Ronin (I imagine it’s Echo in the costume), Kingpin, Bullseye and a couple Spidey villains. A Foggy would make it rock.

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